O...k...

So I think I lied to myself without meaning it there. I did have every intention of blogging last week... I just didn't get around to it. Like so many other things I always promise myself I'm going to do. Like learning Sanskrit or Japanese, or starting up my writing again. I always kid myself that I've been busy but busy doing what? Usually it's university & work & friends but I think that's a lie also because I never do uni work unless it's imperative, I only worked 2 evenings per week with 4 hours per evening making 8 a week & friends, well I suppose I'm not really lying there. I do tend to rarely be alone. But now, I think I've forgotten my point. Maybe that's the problem. I'm defective. Meh, terrible memory genes run in the family.

What makes a hero a hero? Is it winning all the time like Superman? Or is it taking on the task reluctantly, like spider-man? Is it learning, like the X-men did, that at any moment you might fall from grace & become the villain? Or, like Alan Moore's Rorschach, is it being human enough to enjoy watching people die, if they deserved it?
-Jodie Picoult

Kinda edited a little but just the tense. I keep finding myself thinking about heroes lately. Not so much thinking about all the old comic book heroes in capes and costumes but just every day heroes. The average Jo's that don't know what hit them till they're flat on their backs.
I was also wondering who my own heroes are and if I actually have any in particular or if I just tend to admire people for their actions & achievements. Probably a bit of both. The thing is, I'm not sure if my mother would classify as a hero or if that's just adoration for the woman who gave me life & kept me here (sometimes reluctantly, I'm a pest). It's like "Wicked" says; "Are people born wicked? Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?" Can the same be said for heroes?
A lot of people see people in bands or films as their heroes because they aspire to be like them, but if they're stepping on everyone possible & taking questionable actions to get where they want to be, do they have the right to be called heroes? I suppose the beauty in heroism is that under it all they're all still human... Kind of anyway. They all have their flaws & they all have their pasts.
I think I finally came to the conclusion that I don't have any heroes, I just have idols. There are people I idolise, not that I want to be them or be like them, but people I have a high respect for or think they are remarkable people. If I could be a fictional character I'd be Elphaba but from the musical other than the book. Life would be grand if it was all a musical. Well, I suppose it would definitely be a difficult life if you were green. But it would be fun sometimes. Being green. I've lost the plot again.

"There were some people who hit your life so hard, they left a stain on your future."

Definitely. And most of the time they don't even realise they've done it unless you've left a sizable smudge on them also. We're all impacted by the strangest things. Even though some of them should have no bearing on us whatsoever we choose to take heed, over-analyze, over-ponder and land up making a hole out of a molehill (which in my opinion is much worse than making a mountain from it).
Are people put into our lives to change us & vice-versa? In this respect, I believe in soul mates. Not as in there is one soul mate for everyone in the world but I think we all have many soul mates. They may come into our lives for years & stay there or they may only remain for a fleeting moment but each of them teaches us something new about ourselves, human life in general, or about the world. The lessons can be small & not make much of an impact or they can be foundation shakingly tremulous but either way they're still important in the shaping of who we are & who we're going to be.
It would be depressing if we only had one soul mate. You might make a mistake & perceive the wrong person to be your soul mate. If that were to happen you could land up missing the lesson(s) they were supposed to teach you because you found the wrong soul.

Who knew that when you cut a slit in the belly of the night sky, it bled colour? I love The Northern Lights. Unfortunately you don't get to see them too much around this time of year, it's mostly in winter when the air's crisper & the sky is completely clear. "A riot of colour in a dreary world." I don't remember where that quote comes from so I'm just going to reference it as ibid!!
Stars though, everyone says that stars are special. I understand that they can be interpreted as heavenly because they rest in the heavens etc etc, but at no point in time since their creation have they been rare. Yes they may be other-worldly but, like diamonds, I refuse to believe that stars are rare. Someone told me that I was like a star because I was hard to find. Stars are only hard to find in the day time but at night they can be found by almost anyone that can turn their heads to the sky.
Not sure why I'm on a spiel about stars. I'm actually very fond of stars. I just don't think they're rare.

See, I think if I blogged more often & focused on one topic of mind that these things would make more sense & I'd be able to have better titles than just "Hmm..." & "O...k...". But then I suppose by the time it came to blog again all my thoughts would have been stored away or forgotten to make room for the new ones taking up residence in my current lobe of ponderment. The only way of ensuring they all get on here is to write them all down... Which would be pointless because that's what the blog is for; writing down thoughts. Well, in my case it is. Might help me discern some sense from it all. In this case, doubtful. Too long to bother with reading over enough times to make sense when i could be reading the words of great writers instead.

War is like a playground fight: if you start it, you're to blame, and you can't really complain about what happens afterwards. I'm not really at war with anyone, I just like those words arranged that way because they make sense. Simple childish theory... I tend to miss it a lot. Like, do dogs know they're naked? Simple, but you never take time to think about those things when you get older. When the world keeps speeding up to turn much faster than you'd have liked to believe it could.
When children say they know everything (as I remember doing many a time myself) I think they're right. They know everything their present world allows them to know. Isn't that the basis for knowing everything? I know the saying about half of being wise is knowing that you know nothing but maybe once upon a time we knew everything we needed to know & growing up & growing older made us forget what we needed to know to make room for the things we thought we wanted to know. Maybe we used to be wise & now we strive to be something we can't be again because we already made the decision to erase it. I miss the innocent wisdom.

I don't mind getting wet. It's not so bad outside, especially if you're dressed for it but, most people don't dress for rain indoors. Silly people. (More childish theory... Sort of.)
Scotland's weather. Saturday was sunny. Sunday brought torrents of rain. Monday can't decide what it wants to be but on more than one occasion I've had my brolly (umbrella) up then about a minute & a half later I've had to put on my sunglasses. On other occasions, it's been both.
That's one good thing about living in this part of the world. Not the four seasons in one day, but learning that the rain can come any day and at any time so always be prepared. But then again, if you're always prepared for rain, the chances are you're going to miss out on a whole lot of sunshine.
Meh, being a red-head I can do without too much sunshine!! Well, literal sunshine anyway. I like snow best... But that's another point. The discovery that some of the most beautiful things in life are cold. I'm quite partial to ice sculptures. Never quite understood the technique of sculpting, let alone sculpting in ice so it always fascinates me how people can envision their creation in ice or stone or whatever, sand, & just sculpt it. A round of applause to anyone with the talent to sculpt.
Aah!! Is that a tangent I see?!

Sizeable enough a blog for now? I think so!! I've also used "I think" quite a bit in this blog. I've just been typing continuously & hardly noticing what I'm ACTUALLY writing & I'm sure if I read it back I'll find it's absoloute rubbish. One of my problems is that I think too fast &/or type too slow. Before I'm finished typing up one point, my head's already onto the next point & my hands have no option but to follow suit. Or maybe it's a technology thing... I come from a line of technophobes. I strongly dislike the hoover. Not the task of hoovering, just the hoover. It likes to break when I attempt to use it & it's fine when someone else trys it. Sod's law. I'm not jinxed, I'm just clumsy. Spacial awareness isn't so hot either.
Oh looky, another tangent. I'm just nae cool haha!! Oh well, at least I never claimed to be. Ok, I think I'm done now...

But remember, no matter how hard you try, you can't fall off the floor.


Jpxxx

P.s. Maybe if I write it in here it may help; I'm on the job hunt for over the summer & am praying for a response to at least one of the thirty or so CV's that I've handed out. This is my version of a blogging fingers-crossed!! >_<

P.p.s. Monday has decided to be, for the majority of the time, sunny.

I'm Terrible...

At this whole blog caper!! A post to be posted later thisevening, I promise. After I clear out my wardrobe... Has to be done *sad face*.

Jpxxx